No More
by Atheniandream
Summary: 706 Episode Add-on (Edited from Tumblr)


**Author's notes:** _Huge things in 706. Not sure what they spell for the future. We will just have to hope that at the least they keep Harvey and Donna very much with each other in mind._

 _Just something small from Tumblr, and edited. I've figured out a way to write without stepping on the show too much which suits me. 706 Add on._

* * *

 **No More**

 _By Atheniandream_

* * *

She can't stop shaking. She thinks it's because she hasn't eaten _at all_ since coming home, and yet it doesn't escape her, the fact that her stomach is sloshing with nearly a bottle of hasty, mid priced Shiraz.

 _ **She didn't want to come home tonight.**_

 _To an apartment, quiet and empty and palpable._

But, Rachel had been busy, the young woman's promises of an outing soon, only half propping up her resolve.

 _The Misadventures of Michelle Ross and Harriet Specter..._

The idea of such a duo seems silly now.

But it would have at least covered the bittersweet silence she now sits in.

She just… _didn't want to come back and awaken the memories_.

Of him coming, here, of touching her and then leaving her.

Of saying _**those** _words and then leaving her.

 _Of leaving her._

She can't stop thinking about the timing.

The night before.

 _Her words. Her wants._

 ** _His question._**

And The Morning after.

Her decision.

 _And his actions in between._

It had blindsided her completely.

He had chosen that _one_ moment. _Not, between her leaving him and Mike being on trial,_ but amidst the apex of the most potentially fruitful moment in her life, when things had finally begun to settle and her world could be anything she chose,

 _At that moment, he chose_ to start dating the one woman who should have helped him work it all out.

To work _her_ out.

But then again,

 _Harvey Specter never did do the things that people ever expected._

That _she_ expected.

She's angry then.

More than angry. Raging and spiteful and spun.

But she can't go to him with that anger.

Paula Agard is a firm factor now. An iron gate against a world she once had open purchase of.

There was no safe space anymore. No small thing that was _'just theirs'_ now. Their little bubble of impunity had abruptly popped. Where she had ripped away, for herself, he in turn had done the same.

But not before failing to catch her in that one moment.

She feels empty, drowned in the swell of mind-numbing drunkeness.

It is then, _and only then,_

 _That it all falls away,_

And Harvey occupies her heart, **_no more._**

* * *

 _He couldn't sleep._

He wonders if maybe he shouldn't have cancelled Paula tonight, that the urge to, may have been ill-advised and formed from a previous mindset, of going backwards, until that swell of distaste triggers something sharp and acrid in his stomach, and he nods in agreement with himself over the decision, swallowing thickly. He picks up his glass, staring out onto a watery image of himself, sharp jaw and tired eyes mixed up amidst purply blues and greying clouds and downs the rest of the amber liquid.

He frowns into his own image, the warm orange glow lighting his surroundings like a framework. And yet...as he stares out onto the night sky, his own picture blurring, _he longs for darkness._

He had woken up in a sweat, and then, as if being forced back a year he had been unable to clear an image from his mind.

He can still see it now. _That's why the darkness helps._

A recollection of following someone, along a street that he knows well. It is summer, and the wind is warm against his skin. He spots peachy arms and wavy tangerine hair in front of him. His lips twitch with a crooked smile, an interest peaking immediately as he quickens his pace. His hand stretches out towards the familiar image, sliding onto a bare shoulder and a white spaghetti strap.

Her name is weighted and yet caramel on his lips, as he turns her, seeing her side profile come into view,

But when she turns to face him,

 _The woman is a complete stranger._

No freckles. No hazel. No smart-ass grin or eyes that encourage him to be better.

Like a lightning strike, his mouth is suddenly empty of her name, and the unmemorable woman looks at him with the mere ghosted recollection of _her_ confused expression.

It scares him half to death, breaching his wake into a pool of his own sweat.

He is left there, alone in his bed and riddled with the worrying notion,

That she is somehow gone from his mind,

 ** _And all at once he wants her back._**

He wonders now,

If his dreams hold the future. Like warnings,

Of her,

 ** _No more._**

* * *

 _In a dream, I was untrue_

 _Shot up in sweats and I knew it was you_

 _All the while as I traced her spine_

 _You tore up my head, through my peace of mind_

 _If you breathe in, then I breathe in_

 _And slowly let go_

 _If you need it, then I need it_

 _And only we'll know_

 _Half Moon Run **'Need it'**_


End file.
